Today, my god-daughter and her husband are here to promote their book and to talk about marriage. I've been following their tour and have learned something even though I've been married as long as they've been alive. Enjoy the interview and leave comments. One person will get a $50 Walmart gift card.
V.W. ~ Lacresha, I've been knowing you for some months and I'm blessed to be the President of your fan club. Tell us about this book.
Lac ~ I'm blessed to have you as the President. You do a great job. This book is full of tidbits and powerful truth about marriage. It is a marriage-building tool with scripture, real life stories, personal experiences, couple exercises, and much more. There's not another book on the market with as much variety as ours.
V.W. ~ Lensey, tell us about your experience writing a book with your wife, who is undoubtedly very prolific.
Len ~ It was tough because she was always pushing me, but it was thrilling because we wrote from two separate computers, but at the end of the day, we always agreed. It was seamless blending of perspectives. It was like we sat beside each other the whole time when we really didn't. I love working with my wife. She has great work ethic. She is a motivation machine.
V.W. ~ Lensey, what problems did you guys encounter while writing?
Len ~ We went through a period when my brain froze and my wife was ready to strangle me. She was constantly pressuring me to write and the more she pushed the more idle I was. I had to take a couple weeks away from the book to be refreshed.
V.W. ~ Lacresha, what piece of advice do you have for business women who are also mothers and wives?
Lac ~ Get your priorities together. It's so easy to get off balance when you wear a lot of hats. If you can imagine a comedy show where someone is trying to do five roles by themselves. Confusion happens from time to time. You might forget to take off the mom hat while dealing with your husband, or the business hat when dealing with your child. Don't be so hard on yourself. When this happens, it is simply time to prioritize. You have to do it and redo it and redo it to keep yourself together while you switch from one role to the next and the next.
V.W. ~ Lensey, Lacresha says you're the romantic soul in the relationship. Tell us the challenges you face trying to be romantic with someone who is so busy.
Len ~ Finding time is the biggest challenge. We have to first find time to be romantic and then hope she has the energy when that time comes. I have to discern her moods and anticipate her needs. I try not to rush right in for the kill. Rather, I try to minister to her needs first. Let her unwind, etc. We're both busy, but I refuse to work after work hours if I can help it. She's known to go 18-22 hours straight. So, I have to make room for her schedule. However, if it has been a long while, I'll just tell her, "Hey, you got a husband who needs you now. Everybody else is going to have to wait." LOL!
V.W. ~ Lacresha, do you feel you are a good wife to your husband in regards to your schedule and all else that you do? I'm not low-blowing you, but want to get down to some truth.
Lac ~ Yep, I was unprepared for this question. Honestly, sometimes I feel that you can save the world or save your marriage. I don't believe that my marriage will stay healthy if I'm ALWAYS as busy as now. We have an agreement, but I also watch for signs of loneliness in my husband. I watch for signs that he wants me or needs me or misses me. I don't want to occupy the same house, but not the same heart, if you know what I mean. So, I believe that I've improved tremendously since writing this book, but I know too that no marriage can survive if you don't plan time to do nothing but build it.
I loved Marabel Morgan and her book, The Total Woman. It inspired me and helped me get to where I am now, but her marriage ended. She saved many marriages, but failed at her own because she could either teach it or do it. It comes a time when you have to take a break from the world. They'll always be there needing some help. Family first and then everyone else. It may sound horribly selfish, but it does me no good to help Susan, Sally, Shirley and Samantha if I end up in divorce court. I'm working on improving all the time.
V.W. ~ Lensey, close us out with some good godly and manly wisdom.
Len ~ I tell men to understand that roles may shift in nearly everything, but he'll always be the husband. Leading is not about standing out front. It is through prayer that men should lead. Men should live godly lives before their wives and children. We aren't to try to control our family, but to give them guidance. To do that, they must see something in us worth following or listening to. I try to keep my life pure as possible when it comes to the things men normally fall into. I don't befriend other women. I don't spend any time alone with women. If a woman needs counsel, my wife or some others are there at all times. I try to show her that I'm in this with everything in me. That is a man's job FIRST! You be dedicated and faithful. You be true to God and everything else will fall in place.
For those who enjoyed this interview, please use the info below contact the couple. I urge all married couples to go purchase this book today. You won't regret it!
Get it at either of these places:
Truth and Intimacy: A Couple's Journal blog - http://truthandintimacy.blogspot.com
Living Waters store - http://store.livingwaterspc.com
Contact Lacresha Hayes at firstname.lastname@example.org and Lensey Hayes at email@example.com